EDIT... OOOOPS!

Nathan took me to Broad Ripple. Just like our first date. It's weird how everytime we walk into that McDonald's we sit in the same spot and I still get those nervous butterflies as if it were the beginning of April. We then went back to his house and watched Breakfast At Tiffany's. <333

Essay time!

Omgz, how rude of me!

I forgot to brag about how amazing the Brand New show was.

Yeah, it was pretty much better than orgasmic, and Jesse Lacey owns my heart. Best concert ever. For those of you who are close to me, you were either there or I've already told you all that went down. So, yeah. No need for me to write a book about this concert.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
BRAND NEW > you.

Goodnight moon!

I had a great and busy day today. Mark's magical charm of getting rid of Earth Science died today though, because I was back today in lecture and falling asleep while Professor Keffler went on and on about plate techtonics or some bullshit. Luckily, he let us out sortof early today. I have a rocks test tomorrow. I had to memorize 50 different rocks and I have to identify them by name. I can already tell you I'm failing that..

I went to visit Angela today for the first time since summer. I finally got to see her apartment that she shares with Jake. It made me very happy for many reasons. They're so happy together, and it seriously makes my heart smile to see it. They're place is so damn cute, too! We just sat around in the living room, all three of us, and just caught up for like an hour or two. Watched tons of awful IMC rap music videos. It was awesome.

I love Angie. I always will. We've been friends since the 3rd grade, but tight since junior high. I'll never lose touch with that girl. I can't wait to be in their wedding someday!

I came home and did some homework for my education class. Sara kept me company and we watched Freaky Friday. There ain't nothing better than sitting with your best friend and watching Lindsay Lohan before she was a slut. Disney movies will forever hold my heart. Forreal.

I ended the night with Mark, Laura, and Eric. True stuff: I love those kids. We could just be sitting around doing nothing, and they all somehow still make my day. Mark bought me a donut this morning at Dunkin Donuts. I'm one of the first people to eat there.. and I didn't even have to wake up at 5 in the morning. Thanks, Ludwig! :).

Now it's bedtime. Tomorrow should be fun. I hope.
I get to see my Nathanbbyboobooyeahwoo! <3333

I should have started running a long, long time ago..

Come on guys, lets be forreal:

I hate how we were never close, and NOW, after all these years, you want to bond. You're having the hardest time letting go of me, but you need to realize that I'm growing up and I'm not a little girl anymore.

I hate that we're growing apart. You have no idea how much it's tearing me up inside every single day.

I hate that you're two-sided, and all I ever see these days is your ugly personality that was hidden deep within. You fooled me. Congratulations.

I hate that I've only known two sides of you: horny and/or conceited.

I hate it when you're up in the middle of the night and can't sleep. Our personalities are mirrored perfectly. I know what's on your mind and how you feel. You worry me to death sometimes..

I hate that you're experiencing the same thing I went through. I want to tell you to move on and that you can do better. I want you to be able to spread your wings and be free. I want you to be happy. It doesn't matter what I say though, because it never mattered to me. I was right, and I convinced myself that it would all be okay. It's up to you to see that or not. I love you. It saddens me to see you this upset all the time..

And when you slammed the front door shut
Alot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me


Someone please shoot me for quoting Daughtry.

I'm like a puzzle with a missing piece!

Sometimes I truly hate myself.
I haven't seen Brittany Lee Harden since the homecoming dance. I haven't actually hung out with her since the last week of summer vacation. We're just so busy and living different lives. I hate it though, so much. I miss my best friend. I feel like a part of me is seriously dying.
I miss Angela too. And Brittany Baker.
The sad part is: all three of them live only 2 minutes away from me. That's what I'm doing this week and next. I'm going to see my loved ones that I've missed more than anything.
Oh, college.. you're fantastic! until you screw up relationships.

You're the reason I love losing sleep

So, we're laying together on your bed. You asked me what I was thinking about. I told you that I wasn't thinking about anything. I asked you what you were thinking about to not focus on my thoughts that I thought were at the time so silly.

You take me home. You gave me such a breathtaking kiss. I thought about everything you and I have been through since the first day we met eachother to that very second when you kissed me goodbye tonight. I thought about how perfect we are for eachother, and how I've never known someone as perfect as you. I thought about how the ridiculous stress we put ourselves through sometimes just because we worry about eachother. Most importantly, I thought about how I've never felt so at home with anyone in my life.

When you left, I missed you already. I'm so glad you came back over. I haven't been as happy as I am tonight in quite awhile. This feeling I have for you is taking over me, and has never felt so real.

So, when you asked me what I was thinking about in your room, and I told you "nothing".. I lied. Here's my exact thoughts:

Nathan Claire, I love you. So much. Words cannot even describe my feelings for you. And whenever you and I are together, everything is perfect. Nothing can ever go wrong. You are a blessing, and the love I always wished for. If I could lie here forever with you, I would. Forever.

:)

Also: I read your note. Quit being hard on yourself. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. We care too much. I'm pretty sure we've already established that. That's the way it is and always will be. Lets just get used to it and worry ourselves to death about eachother everyday! :)

Dear baby Jesus,

Thank you! I have a car now! It's a '95 Toyota Camry. It's beautiful, clean, and drives like it's new. I couldn't be any happier.

So, I'm proud to announce to the world that I am in love. I'm being forrealz.

Also, in the world of Kristen -- me and Sara got violated by an anonymous man driving next to us on the way to Metropolis today. He kept smiling at us, and everytime she pressed on the pedal to speed up, he would catch up with us. Next thing you know, he won't leave us alone and starts jerkin' it. NO JOKE. I swear to bob.

I think I'm gonna go throw up now.

This circle never ends.

This week has been hectic and overwhelming.

Tuesday I took a recovery day with Nathan. We passed out on the couch watching tons of Family Guy. It was cute waking him up with tons of kisses. We then watched an interesting movie called Eagle vs. Shark. It was such a relaxing day.. and so perfect.

Then Wednesday rolled around. Tyler left for boot camp. Everyone was quite sad about it, although we're wishing him nothing but the best. Later, I finally found what I thought was MY CAR! It was in good condition. 2001 Saturn. I was so content with life now that I'd finally have a car.

Find out on Thursday that shit didn't fall through. So, I'm sadly still stuck without a vehicle. I might go suicidal if I don't get my own freaking car soon. I'm feeling horrible for bumming rides off Amy all the time. And I just miss the freedom to stick the key in the ignition and just GO! This past month and a half has made me feel 15 years old all over again.

Also, on Thursday, I had my third day of student teaching. Let me tell you: this kid Julian has a mad crush on me. It's so awkward. He'll tell me the most disgusting things ever and is literally stuck to me, yet I find it to be awesome. I must be doing something right to have influenced these kids, and especially Julian. He's special.. if you all catch my drift. And everytime I come in, he's immediately like "Kristen! Kristen!! Hi Kristen!!" It's kids like him that actually make me want to do this for the rest of my life.

Later, after work, Laura and Mark picked me up and we then got Eric. I got to spend some time with them, which was tons of fun. Although, sortof depressing because while Laura was making cookies, I was stuck with the boys in the living room watching a horribly sad documentary on 9/11 with all this disturbing real footage. It's so weird how I've remembered that day perfectly.. 7 years later. Dude.. me and Laura both still remember Mr. Cooney telling us that we've been talking too much in class so "we're not allowed to go to recess!"

Me, Laura, and basically all of our class were so damn outraged, lolz!

After eating her delicious cookies, we almost got ourselves killed on the way to Steak N Shake (thanks Eric). I drank water and watched the boys grub. My damn cousin couldn't even buy me a meal.. lame.

Today! I had my first exam in earth science. I think I did pretty good.. for the most part.. kindof nervous to see how that goes. I freaking skipped my anthropology class to study for it, so I better have an awesome grade!

Work was hilarious today with Crystal and Celina. We caught this creeper watching porn on the children's computer. Donna flipped out on him, and he was so embarrassed and walked out quickly, lmao! Theennn.. some dumbass people starting getting in a big fight in our lobby and we had to call the police. It was interesting. I love how people do the whole "get your face" and walk in circles with their arms all out and repeatively saying "WHAT YOU GONNA DO? HIT ME! DO IT!"

Stfu, and just hit him. Stop being a little bitch.

GOODNIGHT LOVES!

Best weekend ever.

And this is why!

Friday

1. Watched Requiem For a Dream with Nathan and Colleen; it's probably one of the best movies I've seen recently.
2. First Friday with Nathan, Chlz, Colleen, and Kaela! It may have took us 2 hours to finally get to Fountain Square (..Kaela! Lolz, I still can't believe she gave those loser Lincoln Tech kids her number) but it was so awesome. The art was pretty damn cool and I can't wait to hit it up again in October!

Saturday

1. Max's football game.
2. Looking for cars (however, no luck!)
3. Dinner @ Mitchell's in Clay Terrace. It was pretty damn delicious.
4. Shopping, shopping, shopping!
5. Tropic Thunder, with mom. If any of you people had doubts of this movie like I did.. ignore your thoughts and go see this movie asap! It's hilarious.

Sunday (my pretend birthday-day)
As if showing up with the library with roses weren't enough, he gave me the best birthday I've ever had in my life.

1. More shopping, shopping, shopping! with Nathan.
2. Hamlet 2! Freaking loved it. Me and Nathan were quite loners in the theater. Some people just don't know what they're missing.
3. Saw two dragonflies making love by Nathan's car. HAHA.
4. I met Nathan's OLDER sister and her kids for the first time today.
5. BIRTHDAY DINNER @ RUTH'S CHRIS! Yeeeah, it was quite a pleasant surprise. Damn, the food was awesome, and me and Nathan were treated like royalty.
6. Relaxed at the canal with my bby.
7. Shouted "GO BEARS!" while walking downtown surrounded by idiots wearing blue and white.
8. Nathan took me on my FIRST carriage ride downtown.. and I loved it more than anything.

My life is so good. I am so blessed. And my boyfriend is just too amazing to me. Sometimes, I seriously don't know how to take it. But I love it. I'm pretty damn happy. And when I'm with him, I feel such a strong sense of comfort. I feel like I've got the world in my hands, and not a thing can ever go wrong. When I'm with him, I'm always okay. When I'm not.. all I have to do is think about him, and I'm okay. God has blessed me with this boy.

No doubt about that.

I believe I have a guardian angel.

Bob Evans has brought me now 2 obvious signs.

I've found prayer clippings out of the newspaper taped on the paper towel dispenser in the women's restroom.

Early March, right when life took a drastic and sudden turn, I found my first prayer. It read:

"When bitterness taints our spirit, O God, free us to forgive. Amen."

Yesterday at breakfast with Nathan, I had to use the bathroom. As I walked to the stall, I passed the paper towels, and found another one. I seriously couldn't believe it. It reads:

"When facing a transition, O God, help us to remember that while change is hard, you will see us through. Amen."

I'm forever holding onto these clippings. For some reason, they have given me hope and security that everything will be alright.

I cannot believe how much life is changing. Some aspects are exciting, yet some are scary. I'm just trusting God that everything will be alright.