Rewind!

Wednesday night --
Hung out with my favorite people: Nathan, Chlz, and Brad. I saw the craziest thing while I was out with them. There were people lined up in front of Best Buy with their tents and blankets TWO days before Black Friday. Dedicated much? Or just plain out crazy? You be the judge. We had fun though. I have mad love for those kids. "A girl can do anything a boy can do!" Chlz and I witnessed some words of wisdom there.

Thursday --
Happy Thanksgiving! Ha, and it was. Woke up and immediately watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in my pajamas like a little kid. Family came over. We ate amazing food. I gained about 10 pounds, and now I regret it. Plans for this weekend: back to dieting and working out! But anyways, back to Thursday.. I then went back to mom's after spending all day at dad's. I planned on coming home to go to sleep early to prepare for Black Friday. Nathan kept me up 'til 12:30 in the morning. We had fun though hanging out. I made him leave though. 3 hours later..

Friday (a.k.a. BLACK FRIDAY) --
I wake up with the worst headache and an urge to purge. Blah. A total of 3 hours of sleep. I don't know how I did it guys. But on the real, this was an awesome day. I shopped everywhere. We got a Wii. We got Guitar Hero World Tour for only 59 bucks! Yeah, we beat EVERYONE in Target for those few games. (: Bought Sex and the City and 27 Dresses, finally. Omg, we went everywere. Hhgregg, Target, Lowes, Menards, Kohls, EVERYWHERE IN METROPOLIS. You guys, I'm tired. Haha. I'm almost done with Christmas shopping though, which thoroughly excites me.

And now, I'm gonna go put in a Christmas movie.
Since it is officially that wonderful time of the year!

I have so much to be thankful for:
1) Nathan Claire
2) Friends & family
3) Sales on Black Friday
4) Guitar Hero
5) M&M Mint Ice Cream
6) Free breakfast at Chick-fil-A
7) Payday!

Life is so good.

fml x a million

Recap!

Monday --
Went to my classes. All of them. I surprised myself, and was actually proud of myself. Luckily, my friend David gave me notes on the Earth Science lectures I've missed. What would I do without him? Later, I hung out in Amy's dorm. We worked on our education slideshow and watched some Family Guy. Love that girl. Tim came over for awhile and chilled too.. wasn't that bad, don't worry you guys. :P I had an awesome time later at Fiddler's casa. Ashley Temple's home, so we all got to see eachother. I've missed that girl so much. She freaking cracks me up. But anyways, me, Mark, Ashley, and Laura all sat around and watched School of Rock. I'm sure Fiddler would love to know that I love that movie now.. thanks to her. It's not so bad after all. (:

Tuesday --
Student teaching at Flanner House with Katie, Amy, and Ashley. That was horrific, but at least we only have one more day left at the school. Came home and relaxed as much as a could, because at noon my Thanksgiving break began. I'm too stoked. Thenn.. the worst news of my life arrived while I was at the dentist at night: I have some cavities that need to be filled.. ASAP. WTF? Where did they come from? I'm seriously freaking the hell out, because there isn't anything scarier in this world than the damn dentist. I seriously wanted to cry my eyes out..
Luckily, Nathan came over afterwards and made my frownies go away.
Ew, I can't believe I just said that.We had a good time though! :)

Wednesday --
Noooothing. Such a relaxing day. :) Cleaned, laundry, napped, made a cute Hello Kitty picture in my sketchbook, watched cartoons in my pajamas, SLEPT IN. Why can't life be like this always? I would kill for this on a daily basis. I'll hopefully spend some more time with Nathan tonight, and then I'm making my way over to Beech Grove for Thanksgiving with my dad. I'm coming home tomorrow night though so I can wake up early for BLACK FRIDAY! woo. :) But anyways. So, then my day turned to shit. Mom woke me up and was like "Tuesday, December 2 -- you're getting your cavities filled."

Fuck my life.
Gah! >:[

Useless

Random thoughts --

Flanner House is such a breeze, yet the biggest waste of our time. Amy and Katie made great points on how Dr. Cathi won't even be grading us on student teaching there! That's kindof annoying and a waste of our time. Whatevz. I love teaching. I love my kids everywhere I go. I feel like I can connect with them easily.

Last night was cute. Nathan decided that I needed to start playing video games. He put in Soul Calibur IV and it was pretty much the gayest and easiest game ever. He thought it was cute though that I actually had an XBOX controller in my hand. Nerd. I love him. (: mmmm.
Margot was on Conan last night! I still need to watch that..

The Office was good. I want to live in a mediocre house with the baby that has a creepy clown picture frame on the wall that won't come off.

I was pretty happy at work today to see that Mark and Eric came to see me! That ended quickly thanks to Donna.

You guys I need a new job. This is depressing.
You guys, I'm not sure why I updated. I have really nothing important to say. I'm just talkative at the moment.

These next few weeks are going to be amazing. I CAN FEEEEEL IT.

Take that, you jerk!

Sometimes I get in these moods where I want to seriously consider going back to my original major: journalism.

Today I watched some Sex and the City, and even some of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. If it weren't for those two shows, I swear I wouldn't ever have the urge to write! I sortof miss reporting and writing stories. I always dreamed of writing for Vogue, The Rolling Stone, or Cosmopolitan.

Oh, how amazing would my life be? It would be the perfect job.

I swear.. not trying to point the finger on anyone.. oh, wait! YEAH I AM. Mr. Hayes is probably the person who turned me off of journalism. After three years in high school for writing for the newspaper, I was done. I loved McKinney.. and seriously wished she never left.
But lately, I've had the urge to get back into that.
I love writing. So much.

You guys, my mind is everywhere all the time. I'm giving myself a headache. I want to be a teacher. I want to be a writer for a magazine. I want to be a therapist. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Lol, I was telling Sara yesterday how sometimes I contemplate going back into journalism just to shove it in Hayes' face. I seriously didn't care for the man. He lacked faith in my work, and it would be the most amazing thing to one day be a professional writer for a huge magazine or newspaper.. and just shove it in his face.
Sigh.

I lika do da cha cha!

You know how it goes:

1. Bestfriend time with SaraBear: we filled out applications for Victoria's Secret & New York and Co. and she watched me buy Colleen her Christmas present. Aaand.. we did our usual catching up on life stuff. Love her.
2. Naptime with Jinxie! There isn't a better feeling in the world than waking up to see your cat wrapped up in your arms and purring. I loverz her.
3. Watching "Win a Date With Tad Hamilton" with Laura, Mark, Eric, and Chris. It was nice seeing them. I've missed them. No more long gaps.
4. Laura's ridiculously amazing homemade chocolate chip cookies!
5. Mark gave me BJ Novak's autograph!
6. Pilates!
7. Actually remembering to return my DVD's to the library and not get overloaded on fines, as usual.
8. Boo Boo making fun of Mark for going boom boom!

I figured out what I'm getting Nathan for Christmas. I only told Chlz, but it's pretty wicked awesome.
I'm really not looking forward to student teaching at Flanner House.Thaaat starts tomorrow morning.
Oh joy.

Pray for me?

Down to 30

What's been good:

1. Orchard Elementary -- I already miss it, you guys! I swear one day I'll be back there either teaching preschool, or being their music teacher. I found my calling. I belong there.
2. Awesome paycheck!
3. Going to see Alex's play "Charley's Aunt" at Whiteland High School with Nathan and Chlz. It was too freaking hilarious, and omgsh Alex was awesome! I'm proud of him.
4. Dinner at Applebee's the my loves: Nathan, Alex, Chlz, Kaela, Peter, and Brad.
5. Across the Universe.
6. Breakfast at Starbucks, and running into Jennifer. Nobody serioulsy understands how much her and Jeff mean to me, and to see her was such a great surprise. She brightens my days.
7. Brownies!
8. Pilates!
9. Freshly cut [& cute] bangs!
10. Nathan Claire.. mmmmmm. (: You guys, I found my soul mate. Tonight was amazing with him. AMAZING.

Dude, just a few more weeks and I'll be FINISHED with my first semester of college.I'm too hype right now, I could watch a Colts game, and play some beer pong at the same damn time.
My life is beautiful.I'm thankful for everything.

^ published last night, but Blogspot wasn't working at dad's. Now onto today..

It was Colleen's sweet 16. She got her pearls, and I envied her. I just kept telling myself that one day I'll marry a doctor and he'll provide me with all the pearls from Tiffany's galore, lol. Annd she got bling. Baller status much? I'd say so. Love that girl though.

Had a breakdown today with thoughts about money. I'm going through such a money crunch at the moment and it's stressing me out with Christmas coming up soon. I have no idea what more I need to do. I've applied everywhere, and begged for more hours, and still I'm stuck at the library making $6.90 an hour and working only 12 hours a week.

I'm scared that I'm going to disappoint everyone this Christmas.

Nathan helped me though. I can always cry around him, and he knows how to make it all better.

I love the Claire family. They are my family.
I miss my boyfriend.

See you Wednesday? :(

Russia

Within these past two days, I've been thankful for:
1. Getting married at Steak 'N Shake.
2. Early release day for K-12 students.
3. Finishing my HUGE project in English early, and on time.
4. Made my schedule for next semester: Philosophy, Psychology, History, English, and Education!
5. Nathaniel August Claire.

Tomorrow's my last day student teaching at Orchard. I'm not sure if I'll consider teaching there or not. I like the environment and children, but had some weird experiences with the staff.
I'm going to be a great teacher one day, that is if I stick with this major.
I really hope this is for me, or else I have no idea what I would fall back on.

I really want a new sketchbook..

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Today was good.

1. The Motown Review.
2. Making $7.47 at Plato's Closet, and getting to see Erica while I was there.
3. Cleaning my room and baking cookies with Nathan.
4. Sharing memories over Facebook with all my friends.
5. Finishing my English 101 project.
6. Christmas decorations at Target.

I'm not sure why Sara and I didn't hang out on our date night.
4 meals under $4 at Steak N Shake.
I'm stoked. Tomorrow. I'm going.

Put CAVE back so I can spell ZINC!

I'm stealing Fiddler's idea. I think it's a great way to reflect upon your days, whether they were good or bad. I like being positive and realizing what I'm thankful for, and what puts a smile on my face.

This weekend's highlights:

1. Dunkin Donuts with Nathan, Alex, and Hannah. Not only did we catch up and eat delicious food, but me and Nathan got free donuts from the manager for answering trivia questions.
2. The Knights and Princesses program @ Wayne Library. Me, Devon, Julianne, and of course, Mary got to dress up in our gowns and basically hand out candy and play games with kids, annnnd I got paid for it.
3. First Friday! Me and Nathan hit up Harrison Center and Big Car in Fountain Square. I love going with him. I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend who appreciates art just as much as I do.
4. Playing numerous games of Scrabble, EVEN when Nathan screwed up my chance to use the letter "Z" !
5. Photoshoot with Nathan in the North Wayne playground.
6. SNL Digital Shorts.

annnnnd.. getting an unexpected surprise from Paul "Poppa" Claire.

Lolololololol.

Today wasn't too fabulous though before Nathan and I spent time together. Dad and I got into another harsh arguement about how I never care, and how he never understands. Sigh. I'm so done with this shit. I'd rather not waste my precious time disputing and crying.

Tyler randomly texted me today. I guess he's done with bootcamp and just graduated. Weird.

I'm ready for this semester to be over with. I really want to work more hours, but my boss won't let me. I need more money. Oh shit, Christmas is coming up. Fantastic.

I'm excited. Forreal, I always am.. but I'm afraid I'll let my loved ones down since I'm literally not good with the income lately.. my money goes to bills and gas. Annnd.. that is it.

Crazy stuff: I gave Nathan a kiss and hug goodbye, and told him "I'll love you forever."
I literally shocked myself with those words. Forever. He told me that he wouldn't mind there being a "forever."

To be honest with you all, I wouldn't mind it either. (:
Guys, I'm in love.

OBAMA IS OUR PRESIDENT ! (:

And I couldn't be any happier. I seriously feel like my vote counted, and that this world will be such a better place. I have all the faith in the world, that he's going to do excellent things for America, and I'm just soooo happy and excited that he won! Today is a day of celebration and happiness for the Obama voters! (:


Onto other stuff..
On November 3, me and Nathan had our 6 MONTH ANNIVERSARY <3 (: !!
I am seriously so damn happy. He is just perfect to me in every single way, and I'm just so lucky to have found someone like him. He is just.. perfect. Absolutely perfect! We're doing great.. actually, better than great. Things between us are fantastic! Mmmmm. :D

College is draining me.
I'm ready for winter break..
I'm thinking about switching my major.
I'm thinking about moving out with Sara.
I still need a new job.

I apply somewhere like every damn day, and no phone calls or anything. It's so upsetting. How am I supposed to move out? You kindof need money.. KINDOF..

*sigh*

I applied at Borders yesterday downtown. It's a pretty damn legit place if I do say so myself.
Pray for me? Okay, sounds good.

I've been great on my diet. Exercising and eating good regularly.
I'm thinking about hitting up the gym right now actually..

Life is beautiful (:

Poking warz!

My second exam in Anthropology was today. Epic fail? God, I hope not..

I spent the day with the best friend. It was nice, as always. I always look forward to Monday's since those are the only days set in stone for me and Sara. We went to Starbucks and caught up for about an hour, took hilarious pictures on her webcam, and just spent the remainder of the afternoon together.

Everytime we get together, we always talk about possibly moving in together sometime. It was brought up in conversation alot today. Normally, I'll get negative feedback from the parentals when I talk about it, for some odd reason.. and today my mom was alright with it. Of course she gave me this long talk about how she isn't going to help pay for my apartment with Sara or anything.

I about died from excitement. Sure, if this were to happen, it would probably be a year from now. I need some time to get a new job and save up money to afford this. I would be the happiest person alive if I could finally be out on my own with my best friend.

Tonight was a nice surprise. Nathan got off work at Bath & Body Works (lucky bitch) and showed up at my door with a rose and a cute little bag. I was like AWWWW (: inside the bag was a card that just said "I love you" inside, a stuffed hippo named Margaret, and some lotion from of course.. Bath & Body Works. It was so cute. I immediately asked "what's the occasion?" and he was all "I just wanted to.." (:

God, he is too cute and perfect. I love him so much. (: True story! I honestly don't think I've ever cared for someone this much in my life..

Mannn.. the past few nights I keep dreaming about Central State.. you know.. the abandoned insane asylum in downtown Indianapolis. (: Last Saturday, I went walking throughout the grounds and near the buildings (which is a BIG no no!) and thought it was the coolest and creepiest thing ever. I sadly didn't have my camera with me, or the appropriate shoes to go exploring through the buildings. But after these dreams, it's giving me some motivation to go back soon for some photography. Probably bring Nathan with me since I'm such a wus. Anyone down for good, scary time? (:

Dude! Me, Nathan, Chlz, and Alex MUST go on another adventure soon! Kaerae's silly self can come too. (:

Oh, guess what? Last I checked, the phone works both ways.

Rambling.

God, I wish I had closer friends at Marian.
Maybe then it wouldn't be so hard to deal with next year..
With Nathan going to IU, I'm not sure I'll know what to do with myself.
And not to mention, I really want to move out!
I'm so done living at home with the family.
Sara or Crystal? Is anyone down?
I need a new job, and I need more money.
I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I "grow up."
The only goal in my life is to fall in love, get married, and start a family.
No joke! It's quite disgusting, but that's all I'll ever want and need.
Nothing else could ever top that.. unless I got an apartment in NYC! (:
God, I wouldn't mind checking out another college soon.
Is Marian right for me? I'm not quite sure anymore.
This weekend was nice. I spent alot of time with Nathan.
Glad me and Nathan got to hang with Chlz, Kaela, and Alex last night on Mass Ave.
I'm so glad you're no longer in my life.
It took forever to realize you were dragging me down.
You were not the right one for me.
Time was wasted, but lessons were learned.
What was I thinking?

One thing is forsure though. I truly do miss being best friends with you.
Because you were a great friend to me.

Quit knocking at my door!

This week has been all over the place! Good, bad, ugly, and perfect.

Tuesday was quite lovely, besides the suicide at Ben Davis. Omg, how terrible is that? Did anyone know the guy? I couldn't believe it once Nathan texted me that morning telling me that someone shot himself out by the tennis courts. For a minute, I thought he was kidding.. but then I realized he's not that ridiculous. That news put quite a damper on my morning.. not gonna lie. Found out while I was taking IPS students on a tour for three hours around Marian with Amy & Ashley! Which we walked the campus a total of THREE times. Exhausting shit right there. Then on top of it, I took another 2 hour walk during earth science: we hiked through our ecolab! I swear, I wish I had a camera with me. It's so beautiful out there, and I definitely plan on going again soon!

Thennn.. I went to Nathan's and he fixed me pizza, milkshakes, and a side of a bloody nose! Lmao, poor guy. He felt horrible. I snuck up behind him as he was about to put the pizza in the oven. I asked him where the Family Guy DVD's were, and as he swung his arm to show me, he accidentally hit me really hard in the nose. Ahaha, classic! Luckily it didn't bleed for long, and I took it like a big girl (:

After eating, napping, Prestige-ing, and other crap, we went to a Halloween shop and I got my costume this year!

"I'm a mouse.. duh!"

If you don't know what that's from, I'm sorry to inform you that we can no longer be friends.

Mmm.. temptation sucks!

Wednesday was a horrible day all-together. Wait, lets rewind that! It wasn't at first. I took Brittany "B-Hard" Harden out for lunch! It was sssooo nice. I've missed that girl like none other. We went out to Steak N Shake and ate lunch with all the old women. Caught up. Talked. Laughed. Just like the old times. It was good actually seeing my best friend. I then decided to embarrass her, and I took her to Tasty's since she's never been. Funniest reactions from her evar! Ahaha. We're totally gonna make some gourmet Penis Pasta! (; best part of it all was leaving, because on the way to my car, we got honked at twice in a matter of 5 seconds. She was mortified. Lol, but thennn.. my day just went downhill after spending time with B-Hard. Nathan made me feel better at the end though. I was super sad that I missed Alex's 18th birthday with Nathan and Chlz. They went to the hookah bar in Broad Ripple, and I was stuck at work. It put more of a damper on my day, but whatevz!

Thursday was my first day student teaching at Orchard Elementary! I work with preschoolers. Ohdang! Let me tell you. They are freaking amazing. I watched them do jumping jacks, pushups, and crunches while counting in Spanish. THEY ARE 3 AND 4 YEARS OLD. Hooooly crap.. they're making me feel dumb. Not to mention, everyone in that school has their very own Macbook. I'm super jealous. Lol, but I like it there. The kids are cute.. and really rich.

And now, I'm on work mode for the remainder of the weekend. I found out today that I have 3 different essays to write, along with an exam in Anthropology to study for on Monday. Kind of stressful, but I believe if I focus, I can get alot done quick! But yeah, Crystal has been my guardian angel the past few days at work. She's understood my stress, and has blessed me with my Margot CD.. since I have fines on my card, and she bought me cookies today. I love that girl so much (: she's just fantastic.

Tonight, Nathan and I spent time at home after a long drive to and from Conner Prairie to find out it was closed for the evening. I was bummed. He just left. It's weird how I already miss that boy.

I have three important questions!
1) Why haven't I seen Laura, Mark, and Eric lately? That's kindof lame.
2) Remember when Fall Out Boy was good? Those were great times!
3) Am I ready for this?

You wanna know a secret?

I'm really starting to hate myself.

Epic fail!

Margot & the Nuclear So and So's were amazing on Friday. The whole night was quite epic. Went to Bazbeaux's Pizza with Nathan, Colleen, Alex, Chlz, Kaela, Brad, and Peter. We then all went to the show!

I love my Margot shirt (: !

Also: I got my hair cut EXTRA short. I freaking love it.

Nothing else left to say. Except that I really wish I didn't have classes tomorrow. I have a 6 page essay due on Tuesday, and I haven't even gotten started.

College is stressful. So are my grades right now.

I cannot give up!

Hrrrrmph!

Mad love.

Lets grow up? Sounds good!

These past few weeks, my views on certain people have not been impressing me. I'm literally getting frustrated with immature behavior that I'm surrounded by.

Lets talk about me. I have my flaws. I often jump to conclusions and always think I'm right when I'm stuck in confrontation. Here's the thing: I hate confrontation. I try to avoid it. It makes me nervous, and I for one am a strong believer in the phrase "life is short" and I personally don't want to waste my life dealing with negative influences who bring me down.

I have always been a loving, friendly person. I do realize that not everyone is going to like you, for a reason or not. Some people though are just shocking me with their negative behavior for reasons completely unknown.

It's so funny how I thought getting out of high school would help avoid unnecessary "drama" but you people have proved my thoughts wrong.

Lets try this: can't we all just get along? I think that sounds like a fantastic idea! Life is too short to be spending it pissed off at one another. It's not worth it. Can't we just let life be a fun experience and love one another? I'm so for that! I absolutely love my friends, and could never dream of turning my back on them.. or purposely making rude remarks about people just to hurt their feelings. I also love making new friends, and it sucks when you've been betrayed so much that you have to really sit and wonder if they are really true, or not.

I have no idea how some people can live with themselves.
I just want everyone to get along.

That's the end of my crap.

Just thought I'd let you know, it was nice getting along with you tonight. I forgot how much of a fun and nice person you truly are. Will our next run-in be this good? I could only hope. I miss being your friend.

Just thought I'd let you know, that I'm sorry for the way I behaved tonight. I'm not saying everyone but myself is immature, because I too have my moments. I assumed and became angered easily. Confrontation brings out the worst in me. I apologize though for stress I put you through, when you didn't even deserve it.

* I also take my anger out on others. Another horrible flaw.

I, too, need to chill and enjoy life. Everyone does. Why is everyone always fighting?
I'm seriously frustrating myself with this topic. I should seriously end this.. now!

Onto something good --
I totally faked an awesome Colts fan tonight. I went into work, and Mary threw me her pink Manning jersey, and told me that I'm doing face painting. I completely forgot we were having our Colts Mane Event tonight at the library. It was fun. I sat there for 3 solid hours just painting faces and hanging out with cute, little kids.

Nathan came in to see me, and I painted one side of his cheek with a megaphone, and the other half of him, I drew whiskers. I don't know. It was fun though. :).

Colts players were also here tonight. I ran into them (literally) in the back room. Talk about some embarrasing stuff. About 500 people were here. It was sooo much fun. What sucks, is I'll probably never have a fun, free day at work ever again.

I applied to Starbucks today. Cross your fingers for me. I've wanted this job since I was 15 years old.


Sometimes, when I picture my life without you.. I actually get nervous. What is wrong with me?

Laura's got herself a hot date.

Today was fantastically chill. Slept in. Watched tons of Family Guy in my pajamas. Did yoga and pilates. Did some cleaning and laundry. Hung out with Mark, Laura, Ashley, and Eric. It was forreal so nice to see Ashley! I've missed that girl.

And now I'm home writing an essay while I'm on my fall break.
College can suck it.

I need a new job. I'm thinking waitressing or hosting would be best for the upcoming months. I still cannot believe my flaming boyfriend has a job at Bath & Body Works, and I don't. I'll probably never get over that shit. But forreal, it seems I'm always without money. People must think I'm a bum. Once I get a paycheck, all of that money immediately goes towards my new car, or bills. I would love to have a spare few bucks on me if I wanted to go shopping or have a life like everyone else.

Why wasn't I born into the Hilton family where I could get whatever I want with a snap of the finger? Wouldn't that be the life. They so take it for granted too.

You know what I hate? Losing people who were once close to you that have changed.
You know what else I hate? How my mind never stops wondering.. I'm always making assumptions and feeling suspicious about every single thing. I need to chill.

I cannot wait for:
- Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
- Conner Prairie
- Halloween
- Thanksgiving
- Black Friday
- Christmas time!
- Graduation in 2012.

Please come faster? Okthanksbye.

Be jealous!

Fall break is here and I couldn't be any happier!

Thursday night, I went out to eat with Sara and Jeremy at Steak N Shake. Jeremy paid (: ! Then, SaraBear came back to my place and we crashed early and slept in. It was ssooo nice to not wake up on Friday morning and rush to Marian. I was so at ease. Sara made us pancakes, and I ran out and got us chocolate milk at Marsh. We had our own little breakfast. After hours of laying around in our pajamas, and watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Saved By the Bell, and Jon & Kate Plus 8.. we finally got our lazy asses up and started our day! (:

Loved being extremely lazy with the best friend though.

Nathan delivered a picture Brittany drew for me. It made me so happy that I could have cried. I miss that girl with everything I have.. and I was just sooo happy to see on this picture still say "Kristen and Brittany = BFF" !

Worked alot this week, and ended Friday with a three hour shift. Nice! Went downtown and hung with Nathan, Chelsea, Kaela, and Alex. It was fun, as always. I love them. We watched tons of Sex and the City and laughed at the horribly AWESOME clothes Carrie wore back in the earlier seasons. I love that show. I swear, you can learn something about yourself just by watching one episode.

Saturday was spent in Tipton with Nathan's family. I love it there. I've never felt so.. at home. I always am at his house and his grandma's house. His family is so welcoming and friendly, and there isn't an awkward feeling to "try" to impress everyone. It's chill, and that's how I like it. And, I absolutely love the stories of Nathan and Colleen when they were younger. Later, we went back to his house and played Scrabble. Got our asses up over to my house and he motivated me to clean my room. I swear, he sat on my bed for a good 2 to 3 hours just helping me and keeping me sane while I cleaned. It was nice (: annnnd.. so was our time together after cleaning.

Woke up today, and went back to Nathan's. Amy drove us all to a farmer's market to pick out pumpkins. Me and Nathan carved a badass pumpkin of an evil tooth fairy named Lent. It took like an hour or two. But, very well worth it. Took a nap together. Played more Scrabble. Don't ask why we have a weird obsession with Scrabble, but we do.

Good weekend. I get Monday and Tuesday off as well. I'm stoked that I get to sleep in tomorrow morning. Nobody wake me up or I'll hurt you.

Oh, did I rub it in yet that I got my Margot & the Nuclear So and So's ticket? Well.. guess who got their Margot ticket this weekend? Thanks, Nathan (: you spoil meeee.

"You're a bitch.. in a good way!"

Fuck college; I want a simple life.
Dieting is probably the hardest thing to do.
I'm confused if I want to keep my major in elementary education.
You're changing. What are you doing? Who the hell are you anymore?!
Fall break starts tomorrow at 12:30; I'm so excited !
Money is always an issue.
I have a long list of movies I have to see.
Quit causing so many problems and get a life.
Sometimes a "hello" wouldn't hurt..
I need a new job.
Choir was the biggest waste of my time and money.
Mother seriously needs to go grocery shopping.
Nathan reminds me of Seth Cohen. Mmm.
I miss watching The O.C.
All I want for Christmas in a Macbook, 80G iPod, and new camera.
I've been on a Death Cab, Kevin Devine, Brand New, and Manchester Orchestra binge lately.
I cannot wait for Sara to spend the night tomorrow so we can have our girls night in.
wish I could sneak into Sara's luggage when she goes to Cali to see Teresa this November !
There are only two people who mirror me perfectly: Sara and Nathan.
I've learned without them both.. I would be lost.
Where has Brittany Lee Harden gone?
And my motivation?!
I wish I would have gone to Lollapalooza with Nathan and Alex anyway..
I'm craving New York City. I want to go back. RIGHT NOW!

"You don't hit me with a knife, that's called stabbing me!"

This weekend was fantastic:

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.
Nathan's photography.
First Friday @ The Harrison Center.
Falling asleep with him in his bed.
The Fashion Mall.
Choke.
Cheesecake Factory.
Grooming Cheetah.
Pinky promises.

Yeah, I'm sure I can do this forever..

However, on the down side, my stomach is tearing apart. I fear that I may die anyday soon.

I got gas for $3.09 today. Who's hella jealous? :)

Holy Angels owns my heart and soul.
Forreal. I love student teaching there. I've never felt so in place before, and the children are just.. perfectly sweet and behaved. It makes me sad that I only have two more weeks there.

I want a new job. I hate it that Nathan is going to be working at Bath and Body Works.. yet I haven't gotten a call? What the crap is wrong with that?!?! Oh well. I'm happy for him.

Hmmmmmmmrph. My computer is broken.
and so is my motivation.

I watched most of School of Rock last night with Laura, Mark, and Eric. I must say, Laura Jean Fiddler, I do approve of this movie after all. :)

I've been in a horrible mood these past few days. This week hasn't been the hottest, but luckily I have an exciting weekend ahead for me.

I have FIRST FRIDAY tonight with Nathan. I loove going downtown and looking at tons of art all over Mass Ave (and damn the food is awesome too) and Fountain Square. Nothing is better than First Friday, especially when you're with a boy you absolutely love and adore.

Saturday, Nathan is using me for his photography project which should be interesting and fun. I can't wait. We're also seeing Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist! :) I'm super stoked. Sunday.. same agenda. Hanging with my love and probably seeing Choke! Again.. super stoked.

I love being around Nathan. There isn't a better feeling in the world. I'm so happy that it's insane. And today is our 5 months! Seems so much longer..

So cute: the other night I went to visit the Claire's and on the table there was a HUGE bouqet of roses. I asked what those were for, and apparently it was Amy and Paul Claire's 20th anniversary. I sat on the couch and watched them unwrap presents. I could see in the way they look at eachother, they still love eachother very much. Even though they have their problems just as much as any other couple, they're still together. You have no idea how much hope that gave me. I've grown up with a broken family, and have always wanted marriage one day.. but feared that one day it would end in divorce. I mean, most marriages are failures these days anyways.

But seeing them made me really hopeful that someday that I would be celebrating my 20th anniversary with someone special.

I've never been given that feeling before.

EDIT... OOOOPS!

Nathan took me to Broad Ripple. Just like our first date. It's weird how everytime we walk into that McDonald's we sit in the same spot and I still get those nervous butterflies as if it were the beginning of April. We then went back to his house and watched Breakfast At Tiffany's. <333

Essay time!

Omgz, how rude of me!

I forgot to brag about how amazing the Brand New show was.

Yeah, it was pretty much better than orgasmic, and Jesse Lacey owns my heart. Best concert ever. For those of you who are close to me, you were either there or I've already told you all that went down. So, yeah. No need for me to write a book about this concert.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
BRAND NEW > you.

Goodnight moon!

I had a great and busy day today. Mark's magical charm of getting rid of Earth Science died today though, because I was back today in lecture and falling asleep while Professor Keffler went on and on about plate techtonics or some bullshit. Luckily, he let us out sortof early today. I have a rocks test tomorrow. I had to memorize 50 different rocks and I have to identify them by name. I can already tell you I'm failing that..

I went to visit Angela today for the first time since summer. I finally got to see her apartment that she shares with Jake. It made me very happy for many reasons. They're so happy together, and it seriously makes my heart smile to see it. They're place is so damn cute, too! We just sat around in the living room, all three of us, and just caught up for like an hour or two. Watched tons of awful IMC rap music videos. It was awesome.

I love Angie. I always will. We've been friends since the 3rd grade, but tight since junior high. I'll never lose touch with that girl. I can't wait to be in their wedding someday!

I came home and did some homework for my education class. Sara kept me company and we watched Freaky Friday. There ain't nothing better than sitting with your best friend and watching Lindsay Lohan before she was a slut. Disney movies will forever hold my heart. Forreal.

I ended the night with Mark, Laura, and Eric. True stuff: I love those kids. We could just be sitting around doing nothing, and they all somehow still make my day. Mark bought me a donut this morning at Dunkin Donuts. I'm one of the first people to eat there.. and I didn't even have to wake up at 5 in the morning. Thanks, Ludwig! :).

Now it's bedtime. Tomorrow should be fun. I hope.
I get to see my Nathanbbyboobooyeahwoo! <3333

I should have started running a long, long time ago..

Come on guys, lets be forreal:

I hate how we were never close, and NOW, after all these years, you want to bond. You're having the hardest time letting go of me, but you need to realize that I'm growing up and I'm not a little girl anymore.

I hate that we're growing apart. You have no idea how much it's tearing me up inside every single day.

I hate that you're two-sided, and all I ever see these days is your ugly personality that was hidden deep within. You fooled me. Congratulations.

I hate that I've only known two sides of you: horny and/or conceited.

I hate it when you're up in the middle of the night and can't sleep. Our personalities are mirrored perfectly. I know what's on your mind and how you feel. You worry me to death sometimes..

I hate that you're experiencing the same thing I went through. I want to tell you to move on and that you can do better. I want you to be able to spread your wings and be free. I want you to be happy. It doesn't matter what I say though, because it never mattered to me. I was right, and I convinced myself that it would all be okay. It's up to you to see that or not. I love you. It saddens me to see you this upset all the time..

And when you slammed the front door shut
Alot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me


Someone please shoot me for quoting Daughtry.

I'm like a puzzle with a missing piece!

Sometimes I truly hate myself.
I haven't seen Brittany Lee Harden since the homecoming dance. I haven't actually hung out with her since the last week of summer vacation. We're just so busy and living different lives. I hate it though, so much. I miss my best friend. I feel like a part of me is seriously dying.
I miss Angela too. And Brittany Baker.
The sad part is: all three of them live only 2 minutes away from me. That's what I'm doing this week and next. I'm going to see my loved ones that I've missed more than anything.
Oh, college.. you're fantastic! until you screw up relationships.

You're the reason I love losing sleep

So, we're laying together on your bed. You asked me what I was thinking about. I told you that I wasn't thinking about anything. I asked you what you were thinking about to not focus on my thoughts that I thought were at the time so silly.

You take me home. You gave me such a breathtaking kiss. I thought about everything you and I have been through since the first day we met eachother to that very second when you kissed me goodbye tonight. I thought about how perfect we are for eachother, and how I've never known someone as perfect as you. I thought about how the ridiculous stress we put ourselves through sometimes just because we worry about eachother. Most importantly, I thought about how I've never felt so at home with anyone in my life.

When you left, I missed you already. I'm so glad you came back over. I haven't been as happy as I am tonight in quite awhile. This feeling I have for you is taking over me, and has never felt so real.

So, when you asked me what I was thinking about in your room, and I told you "nothing".. I lied. Here's my exact thoughts:

Nathan Claire, I love you. So much. Words cannot even describe my feelings for you. And whenever you and I are together, everything is perfect. Nothing can ever go wrong. You are a blessing, and the love I always wished for. If I could lie here forever with you, I would. Forever.

:)

Also: I read your note. Quit being hard on yourself. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. We care too much. I'm pretty sure we've already established that. That's the way it is and always will be. Lets just get used to it and worry ourselves to death about eachother everyday! :)

Dear baby Jesus,

Thank you! I have a car now! It's a '95 Toyota Camry. It's beautiful, clean, and drives like it's new. I couldn't be any happier.

So, I'm proud to announce to the world that I am in love. I'm being forrealz.

Also, in the world of Kristen -- me and Sara got violated by an anonymous man driving next to us on the way to Metropolis today. He kept smiling at us, and everytime she pressed on the pedal to speed up, he would catch up with us. Next thing you know, he won't leave us alone and starts jerkin' it. NO JOKE. I swear to bob.

I think I'm gonna go throw up now.

This circle never ends.

This week has been hectic and overwhelming.

Tuesday I took a recovery day with Nathan. We passed out on the couch watching tons of Family Guy. It was cute waking him up with tons of kisses. We then watched an interesting movie called Eagle vs. Shark. It was such a relaxing day.. and so perfect.

Then Wednesday rolled around. Tyler left for boot camp. Everyone was quite sad about it, although we're wishing him nothing but the best. Later, I finally found what I thought was MY CAR! It was in good condition. 2001 Saturn. I was so content with life now that I'd finally have a car.

Find out on Thursday that shit didn't fall through. So, I'm sadly still stuck without a vehicle. I might go suicidal if I don't get my own freaking car soon. I'm feeling horrible for bumming rides off Amy all the time. And I just miss the freedom to stick the key in the ignition and just GO! This past month and a half has made me feel 15 years old all over again.

Also, on Thursday, I had my third day of student teaching. Let me tell you: this kid Julian has a mad crush on me. It's so awkward. He'll tell me the most disgusting things ever and is literally stuck to me, yet I find it to be awesome. I must be doing something right to have influenced these kids, and especially Julian. He's special.. if you all catch my drift. And everytime I come in, he's immediately like "Kristen! Kristen!! Hi Kristen!!" It's kids like him that actually make me want to do this for the rest of my life.

Later, after work, Laura and Mark picked me up and we then got Eric. I got to spend some time with them, which was tons of fun. Although, sortof depressing because while Laura was making cookies, I was stuck with the boys in the living room watching a horribly sad documentary on 9/11 with all this disturbing real footage. It's so weird how I've remembered that day perfectly.. 7 years later. Dude.. me and Laura both still remember Mr. Cooney telling us that we've been talking too much in class so "we're not allowed to go to recess!"

Me, Laura, and basically all of our class were so damn outraged, lolz!

After eating her delicious cookies, we almost got ourselves killed on the way to Steak N Shake (thanks Eric). I drank water and watched the boys grub. My damn cousin couldn't even buy me a meal.. lame.

Today! I had my first exam in earth science. I think I did pretty good.. for the most part.. kindof nervous to see how that goes. I freaking skipped my anthropology class to study for it, so I better have an awesome grade!

Work was hilarious today with Crystal and Celina. We caught this creeper watching porn on the children's computer. Donna flipped out on him, and he was so embarrassed and walked out quickly, lmao! Theennn.. some dumbass people starting getting in a big fight in our lobby and we had to call the police. It was interesting. I love how people do the whole "get your face" and walk in circles with their arms all out and repeatively saying "WHAT YOU GONNA DO? HIT ME! DO IT!"

Stfu, and just hit him. Stop being a little bitch.

GOODNIGHT LOVES!

Best weekend ever.

And this is why!

Friday

1. Watched Requiem For a Dream with Nathan and Colleen; it's probably one of the best movies I've seen recently.
2. First Friday with Nathan, Chlz, Colleen, and Kaela! It may have took us 2 hours to finally get to Fountain Square (..Kaela! Lolz, I still can't believe she gave those loser Lincoln Tech kids her number) but it was so awesome. The art was pretty damn cool and I can't wait to hit it up again in October!

Saturday

1. Max's football game.
2. Looking for cars (however, no luck!)
3. Dinner @ Mitchell's in Clay Terrace. It was pretty damn delicious.
4. Shopping, shopping, shopping!
5. Tropic Thunder, with mom. If any of you people had doubts of this movie like I did.. ignore your thoughts and go see this movie asap! It's hilarious.

Sunday (my pretend birthday-day)
As if showing up with the library with roses weren't enough, he gave me the best birthday I've ever had in my life.

1. More shopping, shopping, shopping! with Nathan.
2. Hamlet 2! Freaking loved it. Me and Nathan were quite loners in the theater. Some people just don't know what they're missing.
3. Saw two dragonflies making love by Nathan's car. HAHA.
4. I met Nathan's OLDER sister and her kids for the first time today.
5. BIRTHDAY DINNER @ RUTH'S CHRIS! Yeeeah, it was quite a pleasant surprise. Damn, the food was awesome, and me and Nathan were treated like royalty.
6. Relaxed at the canal with my bby.
7. Shouted "GO BEARS!" while walking downtown surrounded by idiots wearing blue and white.
8. Nathan took me on my FIRST carriage ride downtown.. and I loved it more than anything.

My life is so good. I am so blessed. And my boyfriend is just too amazing to me. Sometimes, I seriously don't know how to take it. But I love it. I'm pretty damn happy. And when I'm with him, I feel such a strong sense of comfort. I feel like I've got the world in my hands, and not a thing can ever go wrong. When I'm with him, I'm always okay. When I'm not.. all I have to do is think about him, and I'm okay. God has blessed me with this boy.

No doubt about that.

I believe I have a guardian angel.

Bob Evans has brought me now 2 obvious signs.

I've found prayer clippings out of the newspaper taped on the paper towel dispenser in the women's restroom.

Early March, right when life took a drastic and sudden turn, I found my first prayer. It read:

"When bitterness taints our spirit, O God, free us to forgive. Amen."

Yesterday at breakfast with Nathan, I had to use the bathroom. As I walked to the stall, I passed the paper towels, and found another one. I seriously couldn't believe it. It reads:

"When facing a transition, O God, help us to remember that while change is hard, you will see us through. Amen."

I'm forever holding onto these clippings. For some reason, they have given me hope and security that everything will be alright.

I cannot believe how much life is changing. Some aspects are exciting, yet some are scary. I'm just trusting God that everything will be alright.

When I grow up, I wanna be motorcycle gangster!

Kids truly do the say the darnest things.

Today was my first day at IPS #46 to do student teaching/observing/whatevs. The 4th graders in Mrs. Dixon's room are going to be awesome. I can already tell you that. It's funny comparing my life back in 4th grade to theirs. I sat there and watched them joke around and I even observed their work. It made me wonder if I was once like them, too. It's weird, but I honestly can't remember what I was like in the 4th grade. I obviously remember my amazing teacher Mrs. Blanton. I remember the friends in my class. But that's about it. It's interesting though.

One girl came up to me and was like "What are you? 16 years old?"
I got a kick out of that one.

This one little boy named Julian came up to me (blushing) and asked me "Do you have a husband?" Lolz. I told him that I obviously have a boyfriend, and he literally asked me 20 questions about Nathan.

Hmm. This is going to be fun. :)

"She told me I have to stay with her until she starts her period!"

I love my random life. After getting kicked out of the house today with Sara, we made our way to Avon with her laptop and some movies! Our first stop was Target, where we ate dinner and watched "Prom Night" which is a movie filled with horrible acting. Yet, it was quite enteraining and hilarious.

We then made our way to various shops nearby. Had some fun. Rummaged through Halloween costumes and crap!

We then sat on the floor at Barnes & Noble and started watching this amaaazing movie: "The Life Before Her Eyes." Omgsh. I swear, I have a weird, non-lesbian crush on Evan Rachel Wood. She's just a fantastic actress and she's so beautiful. That movie though was seriously fantastic, and just.. omg! Then as I'm starting to getting freaking hooked, her laptop dies! >:[

I then go buy it, haha. So those are my plans tonight: finish that movie. And my essay that's due tomorrow for first year experience..

Good old fashion fun though. Even being kicked out of the house! :). We then ate some (more) dinner at Texas Roadhouse and had weird conversations with crazy Zach from Avon who is quite obsessed with sex and kept trying to ask me and Sara personal questions. Note: we just met this creeper. It was weird as hell. Jeremy wanted to kill him. Happy times. :).

Another great thing about today: I got TWO free tickets to the Maroon 5 and Counting Crows concert this Thursday. Sara is most likely going.. but there's that slight chance she may not have someone to cover for her. :/ So.. if she can't go.. any takers? :). It would be hella fun.

Oh, and just so you all know, I'm going as a drunken Jason this year for Halloween. It should be fun.

Jesus had a sword?

I thought I should get one of these. I love to talk. I'm starting to lose motivation in writing in my actual diary though. I'm getting too tired and lazy. It kindof makes my soul cry, but like I said: I don't care.

I've officially been in college for a week now. I have to say it's so much better than high school, although the stress is insane! I've had so much to do in just my first week with no time at all. I'm still surprised with myself that I got all my work turned in on time. I just need to keep up with it and not slack so much like I did in high school. I love it though: so much free time, meeting new people, and no insane rules with dress code or restroom trips, lol.

This weekend has been great. I finally saw theee KATHY GRIFFIN. She is fucking hilarious, and seriously my hero. Went shopping and bought tons of new clothes (not like I need them) and spent today with Nathan, Chlz, and Alex. We went on a short adventure to Martinsville and trespassed to the "Jesus Barn" and had a scary encounter with a man who tried getting in Alex's car as we took a picture of a ghetto bridge with tons of racial and offensive words and pictures spray-painted on it. Martinsville is quite a scary place.

It's funny: my mom thinks I'm going to get myself killed with the crap that I do.