Poking warz!

My second exam in Anthropology was today. Epic fail? God, I hope not..

I spent the day with the best friend. It was nice, as always. I always look forward to Monday's since those are the only days set in stone for me and Sara. We went to Starbucks and caught up for about an hour, took hilarious pictures on her webcam, and just spent the remainder of the afternoon together.

Everytime we get together, we always talk about possibly moving in together sometime. It was brought up in conversation alot today. Normally, I'll get negative feedback from the parentals when I talk about it, for some odd reason.. and today my mom was alright with it. Of course she gave me this long talk about how she isn't going to help pay for my apartment with Sara or anything.

I about died from excitement. Sure, if this were to happen, it would probably be a year from now. I need some time to get a new job and save up money to afford this. I would be the happiest person alive if I could finally be out on my own with my best friend.

Tonight was a nice surprise. Nathan got off work at Bath & Body Works (lucky bitch) and showed up at my door with a rose and a cute little bag. I was like AWWWW (: inside the bag was a card that just said "I love you" inside, a stuffed hippo named Margaret, and some lotion from of course.. Bath & Body Works. It was so cute. I immediately asked "what's the occasion?" and he was all "I just wanted to.." (:

God, he is too cute and perfect. I love him so much. (: True story! I honestly don't think I've ever cared for someone this much in my life..

Mannn.. the past few nights I keep dreaming about Central State.. you know.. the abandoned insane asylum in downtown Indianapolis. (: Last Saturday, I went walking throughout the grounds and near the buildings (which is a BIG no no!) and thought it was the coolest and creepiest thing ever. I sadly didn't have my camera with me, or the appropriate shoes to go exploring through the buildings. But after these dreams, it's giving me some motivation to go back soon for some photography. Probably bring Nathan with me since I'm such a wus. Anyone down for good, scary time? (:

Dude! Me, Nathan, Chlz, and Alex MUST go on another adventure soon! Kaerae's silly self can come too. (:

Oh, guess what? Last I checked, the phone works both ways.

Rambling.

God, I wish I had closer friends at Marian.
Maybe then it wouldn't be so hard to deal with next year..
With Nathan going to IU, I'm not sure I'll know what to do with myself.
And not to mention, I really want to move out!
I'm so done living at home with the family.
Sara or Crystal? Is anyone down?
I need a new job, and I need more money.
I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I "grow up."
The only goal in my life is to fall in love, get married, and start a family.
No joke! It's quite disgusting, but that's all I'll ever want and need.
Nothing else could ever top that.. unless I got an apartment in NYC! (:
God, I wouldn't mind checking out another college soon.
Is Marian right for me? I'm not quite sure anymore.
This weekend was nice. I spent alot of time with Nathan.
Glad me and Nathan got to hang with Chlz, Kaela, and Alex last night on Mass Ave.
I'm so glad you're no longer in my life.
It took forever to realize you were dragging me down.
You were not the right one for me.
Time was wasted, but lessons were learned.
What was I thinking?

One thing is forsure though. I truly do miss being best friends with you.
Because you were a great friend to me.

Quit knocking at my door!

This week has been all over the place! Good, bad, ugly, and perfect.

Tuesday was quite lovely, besides the suicide at Ben Davis. Omg, how terrible is that? Did anyone know the guy? I couldn't believe it once Nathan texted me that morning telling me that someone shot himself out by the tennis courts. For a minute, I thought he was kidding.. but then I realized he's not that ridiculous. That news put quite a damper on my morning.. not gonna lie. Found out while I was taking IPS students on a tour for three hours around Marian with Amy & Ashley! Which we walked the campus a total of THREE times. Exhausting shit right there. Then on top of it, I took another 2 hour walk during earth science: we hiked through our ecolab! I swear, I wish I had a camera with me. It's so beautiful out there, and I definitely plan on going again soon!

Thennn.. I went to Nathan's and he fixed me pizza, milkshakes, and a side of a bloody nose! Lmao, poor guy. He felt horrible. I snuck up behind him as he was about to put the pizza in the oven. I asked him where the Family Guy DVD's were, and as he swung his arm to show me, he accidentally hit me really hard in the nose. Ahaha, classic! Luckily it didn't bleed for long, and I took it like a big girl (:

After eating, napping, Prestige-ing, and other crap, we went to a Halloween shop and I got my costume this year!

"I'm a mouse.. duh!"

If you don't know what that's from, I'm sorry to inform you that we can no longer be friends.

Mmm.. temptation sucks!

Wednesday was a horrible day all-together. Wait, lets rewind that! It wasn't at first. I took Brittany "B-Hard" Harden out for lunch! It was sssooo nice. I've missed that girl like none other. We went out to Steak N Shake and ate lunch with all the old women. Caught up. Talked. Laughed. Just like the old times. It was good actually seeing my best friend. I then decided to embarrass her, and I took her to Tasty's since she's never been. Funniest reactions from her evar! Ahaha. We're totally gonna make some gourmet Penis Pasta! (; best part of it all was leaving, because on the way to my car, we got honked at twice in a matter of 5 seconds. She was mortified. Lol, but thennn.. my day just went downhill after spending time with B-Hard. Nathan made me feel better at the end though. I was super sad that I missed Alex's 18th birthday with Nathan and Chlz. They went to the hookah bar in Broad Ripple, and I was stuck at work. It put more of a damper on my day, but whatevz!

Thursday was my first day student teaching at Orchard Elementary! I work with preschoolers. Ohdang! Let me tell you. They are freaking amazing. I watched them do jumping jacks, pushups, and crunches while counting in Spanish. THEY ARE 3 AND 4 YEARS OLD. Hooooly crap.. they're making me feel dumb. Not to mention, everyone in that school has their very own Macbook. I'm super jealous. Lol, but I like it there. The kids are cute.. and really rich.

And now, I'm on work mode for the remainder of the weekend. I found out today that I have 3 different essays to write, along with an exam in Anthropology to study for on Monday. Kind of stressful, but I believe if I focus, I can get alot done quick! But yeah, Crystal has been my guardian angel the past few days at work. She's understood my stress, and has blessed me with my Margot CD.. since I have fines on my card, and she bought me cookies today. I love that girl so much (: she's just fantastic.

Tonight, Nathan and I spent time at home after a long drive to and from Conner Prairie to find out it was closed for the evening. I was bummed. He just left. It's weird how I already miss that boy.

I have three important questions!
1) Why haven't I seen Laura, Mark, and Eric lately? That's kindof lame.
2) Remember when Fall Out Boy was good? Those were great times!
3) Am I ready for this?

You wanna know a secret?

I'm really starting to hate myself.

Epic fail!

Margot & the Nuclear So and So's were amazing on Friday. The whole night was quite epic. Went to Bazbeaux's Pizza with Nathan, Colleen, Alex, Chlz, Kaela, Brad, and Peter. We then all went to the show!

I love my Margot shirt (: !

Also: I got my hair cut EXTRA short. I freaking love it.

Nothing else left to say. Except that I really wish I didn't have classes tomorrow. I have a 6 page essay due on Tuesday, and I haven't even gotten started.

College is stressful. So are my grades right now.

I cannot give up!

Hrrrrmph!

Mad love.

Lets grow up? Sounds good!

These past few weeks, my views on certain people have not been impressing me. I'm literally getting frustrated with immature behavior that I'm surrounded by.

Lets talk about me. I have my flaws. I often jump to conclusions and always think I'm right when I'm stuck in confrontation. Here's the thing: I hate confrontation. I try to avoid it. It makes me nervous, and I for one am a strong believer in the phrase "life is short" and I personally don't want to waste my life dealing with negative influences who bring me down.

I have always been a loving, friendly person. I do realize that not everyone is going to like you, for a reason or not. Some people though are just shocking me with their negative behavior for reasons completely unknown.

It's so funny how I thought getting out of high school would help avoid unnecessary "drama" but you people have proved my thoughts wrong.

Lets try this: can't we all just get along? I think that sounds like a fantastic idea! Life is too short to be spending it pissed off at one another. It's not worth it. Can't we just let life be a fun experience and love one another? I'm so for that! I absolutely love my friends, and could never dream of turning my back on them.. or purposely making rude remarks about people just to hurt their feelings. I also love making new friends, and it sucks when you've been betrayed so much that you have to really sit and wonder if they are really true, or not.

I have no idea how some people can live with themselves.
I just want everyone to get along.

That's the end of my crap.

Just thought I'd let you know, it was nice getting along with you tonight. I forgot how much of a fun and nice person you truly are. Will our next run-in be this good? I could only hope. I miss being your friend.

Just thought I'd let you know, that I'm sorry for the way I behaved tonight. I'm not saying everyone but myself is immature, because I too have my moments. I assumed and became angered easily. Confrontation brings out the worst in me. I apologize though for stress I put you through, when you didn't even deserve it.

* I also take my anger out on others. Another horrible flaw.

I, too, need to chill and enjoy life. Everyone does. Why is everyone always fighting?
I'm seriously frustrating myself with this topic. I should seriously end this.. now!

Onto something good --
I totally faked an awesome Colts fan tonight. I went into work, and Mary threw me her pink Manning jersey, and told me that I'm doing face painting. I completely forgot we were having our Colts Mane Event tonight at the library. It was fun. I sat there for 3 solid hours just painting faces and hanging out with cute, little kids.

Nathan came in to see me, and I painted one side of his cheek with a megaphone, and the other half of him, I drew whiskers. I don't know. It was fun though. :).

Colts players were also here tonight. I ran into them (literally) in the back room. Talk about some embarrasing stuff. About 500 people were here. It was sooo much fun. What sucks, is I'll probably never have a fun, free day at work ever again.

I applied to Starbucks today. Cross your fingers for me. I've wanted this job since I was 15 years old.


Sometimes, when I picture my life without you.. I actually get nervous. What is wrong with me?

Laura's got herself a hot date.

Today was fantastically chill. Slept in. Watched tons of Family Guy in my pajamas. Did yoga and pilates. Did some cleaning and laundry. Hung out with Mark, Laura, Ashley, and Eric. It was forreal so nice to see Ashley! I've missed that girl.

And now I'm home writing an essay while I'm on my fall break.
College can suck it.

I need a new job. I'm thinking waitressing or hosting would be best for the upcoming months. I still cannot believe my flaming boyfriend has a job at Bath & Body Works, and I don't. I'll probably never get over that shit. But forreal, it seems I'm always without money. People must think I'm a bum. Once I get a paycheck, all of that money immediately goes towards my new car, or bills. I would love to have a spare few bucks on me if I wanted to go shopping or have a life like everyone else.

Why wasn't I born into the Hilton family where I could get whatever I want with a snap of the finger? Wouldn't that be the life. They so take it for granted too.

You know what I hate? Losing people who were once close to you that have changed.
You know what else I hate? How my mind never stops wondering.. I'm always making assumptions and feeling suspicious about every single thing. I need to chill.

I cannot wait for:
- Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
- Conner Prairie
- Halloween
- Thanksgiving
- Black Friday
- Christmas time!
- Graduation in 2012.

Please come faster? Okthanksbye.

Be jealous!

Fall break is here and I couldn't be any happier!

Thursday night, I went out to eat with Sara and Jeremy at Steak N Shake. Jeremy paid (: ! Then, SaraBear came back to my place and we crashed early and slept in. It was ssooo nice to not wake up on Friday morning and rush to Marian. I was so at ease. Sara made us pancakes, and I ran out and got us chocolate milk at Marsh. We had our own little breakfast. After hours of laying around in our pajamas, and watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Saved By the Bell, and Jon & Kate Plus 8.. we finally got our lazy asses up and started our day! (:

Loved being extremely lazy with the best friend though.

Nathan delivered a picture Brittany drew for me. It made me so happy that I could have cried. I miss that girl with everything I have.. and I was just sooo happy to see on this picture still say "Kristen and Brittany = BFF" !

Worked alot this week, and ended Friday with a three hour shift. Nice! Went downtown and hung with Nathan, Chelsea, Kaela, and Alex. It was fun, as always. I love them. We watched tons of Sex and the City and laughed at the horribly AWESOME clothes Carrie wore back in the earlier seasons. I love that show. I swear, you can learn something about yourself just by watching one episode.

Saturday was spent in Tipton with Nathan's family. I love it there. I've never felt so.. at home. I always am at his house and his grandma's house. His family is so welcoming and friendly, and there isn't an awkward feeling to "try" to impress everyone. It's chill, and that's how I like it. And, I absolutely love the stories of Nathan and Colleen when they were younger. Later, we went back to his house and played Scrabble. Got our asses up over to my house and he motivated me to clean my room. I swear, he sat on my bed for a good 2 to 3 hours just helping me and keeping me sane while I cleaned. It was nice (: annnnd.. so was our time together after cleaning.

Woke up today, and went back to Nathan's. Amy drove us all to a farmer's market to pick out pumpkins. Me and Nathan carved a badass pumpkin of an evil tooth fairy named Lent. It took like an hour or two. But, very well worth it. Took a nap together. Played more Scrabble. Don't ask why we have a weird obsession with Scrabble, but we do.

Good weekend. I get Monday and Tuesday off as well. I'm stoked that I get to sleep in tomorrow morning. Nobody wake me up or I'll hurt you.

Oh, did I rub it in yet that I got my Margot & the Nuclear So and So's ticket? Well.. guess who got their Margot ticket this weekend? Thanks, Nathan (: you spoil meeee.

"You're a bitch.. in a good way!"

Fuck college; I want a simple life.
Dieting is probably the hardest thing to do.
I'm confused if I want to keep my major in elementary education.
You're changing. What are you doing? Who the hell are you anymore?!
Fall break starts tomorrow at 12:30; I'm so excited !
Money is always an issue.
I have a long list of movies I have to see.
Quit causing so many problems and get a life.
Sometimes a "hello" wouldn't hurt..
I need a new job.
Choir was the biggest waste of my time and money.
Mother seriously needs to go grocery shopping.
Nathan reminds me of Seth Cohen. Mmm.
I miss watching The O.C.
All I want for Christmas in a Macbook, 80G iPod, and new camera.
I've been on a Death Cab, Kevin Devine, Brand New, and Manchester Orchestra binge lately.
I cannot wait for Sara to spend the night tomorrow so we can have our girls night in.
wish I could sneak into Sara's luggage when she goes to Cali to see Teresa this November !
There are only two people who mirror me perfectly: Sara and Nathan.
I've learned without them both.. I would be lost.
Where has Brittany Lee Harden gone?
And my motivation?!
I wish I would have gone to Lollapalooza with Nathan and Alex anyway..
I'm craving New York City. I want to go back. RIGHT NOW!

"You don't hit me with a knife, that's called stabbing me!"

This weekend was fantastic:

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.
Nathan's photography.
First Friday @ The Harrison Center.
Falling asleep with him in his bed.
The Fashion Mall.
Choke.
Cheesecake Factory.
Grooming Cheetah.
Pinky promises.

Yeah, I'm sure I can do this forever..

However, on the down side, my stomach is tearing apart. I fear that I may die anyday soon.

I got gas for $3.09 today. Who's hella jealous? :)

Holy Angels owns my heart and soul.
Forreal. I love student teaching there. I've never felt so in place before, and the children are just.. perfectly sweet and behaved. It makes me sad that I only have two more weeks there.

I want a new job. I hate it that Nathan is going to be working at Bath and Body Works.. yet I haven't gotten a call? What the crap is wrong with that?!?! Oh well. I'm happy for him.

Hmmmmmmmrph. My computer is broken.
and so is my motivation.

I watched most of School of Rock last night with Laura, Mark, and Eric. I must say, Laura Jean Fiddler, I do approve of this movie after all. :)

I've been in a horrible mood these past few days. This week hasn't been the hottest, but luckily I have an exciting weekend ahead for me.

I have FIRST FRIDAY tonight with Nathan. I loove going downtown and looking at tons of art all over Mass Ave (and damn the food is awesome too) and Fountain Square. Nothing is better than First Friday, especially when you're with a boy you absolutely love and adore.

Saturday, Nathan is using me for his photography project which should be interesting and fun. I can't wait. We're also seeing Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist! :) I'm super stoked. Sunday.. same agenda. Hanging with my love and probably seeing Choke! Again.. super stoked.

I love being around Nathan. There isn't a better feeling in the world. I'm so happy that it's insane. And today is our 5 months! Seems so much longer..

So cute: the other night I went to visit the Claire's and on the table there was a HUGE bouqet of roses. I asked what those were for, and apparently it was Amy and Paul Claire's 20th anniversary. I sat on the couch and watched them unwrap presents. I could see in the way they look at eachother, they still love eachother very much. Even though they have their problems just as much as any other couple, they're still together. You have no idea how much hope that gave me. I've grown up with a broken family, and have always wanted marriage one day.. but feared that one day it would end in divorce. I mean, most marriages are failures these days anyways.

But seeing them made me really hopeful that someday that I would be celebrating my 20th anniversary with someone special.

I've never been given that feeling before.